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Fandom has failed me–what to do now?


It’s been a part of my life for 19 or 20 years. I used to write fanfiction, laugh over bad fanfiction, role-play as characters online, the works. Of course, my preferred fandoms would change as I lost or gained interest in them, but the activities based on them never changed.

My latest fandom was Star Wars, an incredibly toxic one. As someone who enjoyed The Last Jedi and didn’t ship Reylo (I didn’t want Kylo Ren and Rey to have a romance), I was very lonely. But I managed to find some people who followed my unconventional ship. I started a fanfic, and I chatted with them online.

But the people I met online all disappeared. No one cared about my fanfic, so I gave up writing it. And I learned just how toxic the Star Wars fandom was. Frankly, it was a relief to leave it. I was anxious about it before seeing the new movie. And even though I enjoyed the movie, I’m not tempted to go back into the fandom. Just as well, since it seems to all be Reylo fics now.

But fandom has been such a huge part of my life for so many years that I’m almost lost without it. What do I replace it with? Where do I find a similar hobby that had such a hold on my imagination, my inspiration, and my life?

A Prayer for the Planet

O, Lord in Heaven, Maker of all,

Hear all our voices, answer our call.

Whatever our sins and whatever our worth,

Rescue us all from our foundering Earth.


Open the eyes of all those who don’t feel

That the climate is changing, the crisis is real.

Give them a sense of what’s truly at stake.

Give them the knowledge, for our planet’s sake.


No longer harden our cruel leaders’ hearts

Against us and our planet. Let our rulers start

To alter old customs, to write and to pass

Laws that will truly decrease greenhouse gas.


Rescue and comfort all those feeling grief,

From storm, drought, and fire, and waves of cruel heat.

Soothe the bereaved, help to lift up the poor,

As weather grows many times worse than before.


For those who have died, come gather their souls

Close to You, Lord, in Your loving hold.

Offer them love and forgiveness and grace,

As they leave our sad world for a happier place.


If these are the End Times, O, send Christ down here,

To rescue a world that is drowning in fear.

Save all the sinless, end evil at last.

O, Lord, let our struggle be over with fast.


I know that our suffering here is our fault.

We’re wrecked Your creation, destruction we’ve wrought.

But blame should fall down on all those who have wealth,

Not the innocent victims who need the most help.


So, give us compassion and knowledge and skill

To fight climate change, or nobody will.

We beg for Your mercy and cry out in fear

Of the stormy apocalypse happening here.